Anxiety &Me

Well ! The random things happening to me during lockdown was totally social isolation and when I got familiar with all that isolation, suddenly the lockdown was lifted. It surely wasn’t lifting my spirit up. I was amazed how awesome I was. In my own company obviously. It’s addicting, sitting with yourself and making your imagination go wild. At one point I really felt I met my favourite singer😂😂 you can call me a narcissistic or whatever. I won’t judge you if you judge me 😜😂😂

Online I met some new people and it really isn’t awkward to talk to someone online because cmon if you ran out of topics then that’s the end of it😜

Well! The day before Diwali I had worst fear coming alive. Meeting someone face to face, not someone I know but someone completely new. Basically what happens to me is my facial muscles tighten up and giving a look of awkward smile. My mouth started to feel dry, and my heartbeat just accelerates . Isn’t it bad!!! Ikr ..

Well, We moved to Punjab from Haryana earlier this year(2021) . So, we live in a society where there are too many flats ( coz I haven’t counted any😂😜) and in my building, there are 24 flats( ofc i have a lot of free time to think such things 😜😂). So, we live on the top floor because when we were booking the flat my mom insisted on ground floor but I was the one wanting to be a super hero😂 it’s strange I haven’t felt that way yet 😂😜 I hope soon😂😂😜😜

Coming to the point, diwali is a festival of lights and spreading joy unlike others who light crackers and spread noise. Well! So, my two extroverted parents thought it would be nice to make acquaintances here and sure it’s a great move to introduce yourself to neighbours and get to know the neighborhood, I support it as the official Ambivert but when it comes to me, my parents introducing me to new people of my age it’s kinda difficult and hella scary.

My mom called me downstairs to meet them and the neighbours were like , ” oh you have a daughter too. We’ve never seen her” and my inner me was like 😥

Dude, she just introduced me to their daughter who apparently completed her graduation this year, like me. But she’s 21 and I’m a little baby aged 19. She was surprised knowing that at 19 I completed my graduation. 😂 Well! I surprise a lot .. this is the rare element in me.

She’s a great girl, honestly. We share somehow same traits except she’s a humanities students and me a science nerd. We both share the dream to travel the world. It’s good to know someone in your neighborhood as my mom used to say and now I feel like sure, I agree.

Everyday, I’m trying to be better at social interaction so that I won’t be awkward socially and everyday something happens that make me a weirdo. Whatever it is I hope it passes soon..

Moral of the story is everything that seems impossible is possible if you just calm your fast pacing mind. Like me making a new friend. Well! That’s what I call something productive. What do you think? Let me know in the comments 😀

Thanks for reading 💖

Lots of love and light

Pari Paulastya

Who am I and What are my goals in life!

Today is the ocassion of Choti Diwali. It’s that part of the story where people get good news of the homecoming of Lord Rama from his years of exile. This is the day where people prepare for the arrival. Metaphorically, Arrival of Happiness, good relationships , wealth and people pray for each other’s Prosperity and plus how can I forget the best part – sweets !!! 😂😂

So, i thought why not let’s just start writing today. The title of today’s blog indicates towards who am I ?

Some say, I am crazy , some say I’m immature, some say I am still a child in the body of adult. But what I think should matter the most, innt!!

I usually describe myself as a girl with hopes, dreams, ambitions as big as the Jupiter 😜( I know it’s kind of an exaggeration but still let’s take it for what it is) . Well! You can know me as a girl who blogs about her life, her day. Because honestly, I just want to share every beautiful detail of my life that I’m experiencing and you know it’s been said that when you share your happiness it gets doubled. So, cheers to that my friends!

My day started out great. Same yet interesting morning routine followed by some exercise ( chole ting to be precise) and meditation and writing ideas what would I be posting today😊

You know, the best part of my day is when I write. Writing for me is just like alcohol. The more you do, the more you feel high , the more you feel high, the more you tend to accept yourself! It’s just my opinion. What’s yours? I would love to know that.

Like any other human , i have a dream. A dream to make a difference, a dream to leave something behind before my death, i just want to live fully and freely. A carefree yet a responsible life. My goal is to write 15 books before I die. It’s a lot ikr 😂 but quality is what matters to me the most. I’m passionate about genetics as much as I’m mad for literature.

Having goals and taking action in order to fulfill them is just another level satisfaction. Goals gives you a direction, otherwise I feel that a person would be wandering aimlessly, wasting time of them and others as well! If you’re not sure what you’re gonna do in life then you might need to look closely because look we all gonna die someday. And I know that I don’t wanna regret my life, on my deathbed but instead I would want to raise a final toast to the people who would be there with me or just cats 😂 who knows what future holds !! Right?! But I just wanna dance to the song of life, want to feel the air on my skin, wanna feel the warmth of sunshine and drops of rain and wanna see every beautiful place on this earth 🌎

The more little time you have , the more inspired you should be to chase what’s yours!!

What do you think ?!

Regards,

Pari 💖

The Nature’s Rule

Our Life is made by the death of others

Leonardo da Vinci

when I was a little kid I was so sure about Life . I had a perfect plan like where to live , what to do . But any of plans didn’t included death . Death is universal , inevitable but frightening . The Question I asked my grandmother again and again that Why was I born when ultimately I have to die ?

She used to laugh at my question and used to say that , ” It is the rule of nature . But you have plenty of time to figure out what to do and universe will give you the answers when you will be ready” . I went straight to my room , opened the wardrobe and took out my party wear . I went to her and said , ” I’m ready now . Please tell the universe that I’m ready!!” . I was thrilled but she laughed and wrapped her arms around me . ” My Dear , when you’ll be of my age you will know”

We shared an unusual bond . We fought , we loved , we irritated each other but still were together without any malice .

22nd July 2014,

She was admitted to the hospital just because she had a stroke . Doctors said that she was okay and we went inside the ward . She smiled , she said she was expecting that in her last time . Everyone consoled her that everything is going to be fine but she was certain that she was taking her last breaths …..

6th August 2014,

She took her last breath in ICU in pain and then suddenly she slept …… slept in the arms of Death .

I was sad , anxious and couldn’t accept the fact but I was glad that we spend some great time together and made lasting memories because at last you are going to take it only with you !

Nature works in a mysterious way . Sometimes it teaches you in a harsh way but at last , at some point in your life you’ll find satisfaction and at the very last end ‘PEACE’ . But who knows whether life before death is certain or whether you will find peace …. Only we can hope for because hope is all WE need!!!!

thanks for reading …………

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